Story Challenge #29: 1st August 2005
Write a fifteen-minute fic in which the medals the boys received in the end of A New Hope cause or solve a big problem for Han and Luke.

Medals
A 15-minute SW ficlet by Morgan D.

v=v=v=v=v=v=v=v

"Damn medal. Damn, damn medal! If I knew it would bring me so much trouble, I'd never have let the Princess hang it around my neck. I should just toss it in the garbage."

"This medal is a symbol of great relevance. And it's brought me nothing but luck. I'm seriously considering never taking mine off my neck."

Forgetting the holochess game for a moment, Luke and Han gazed at each other with suspicion and surprise.

"You're kidding me, right?" said Luke. "Han, I almost had to drag you to the amphitheatre. You ranted for hours about how the awards ceremony had no meaning because the Empire is still out there, and how the Rebels are just complete lunatics and you want nothing to do with them. You found a million different ways to tell me how stupid you thought I was for thinking that I was being praised with a great honour. Now you're gonna tell me you've changed your mind? Overnight?"

"I didn't change my mind," said Han. "I still think the ceremony had no meaning. I still think the Rebels are lunatics. I still don't want anything to do with them. And I still think your idealism is gonna get you killed."

"But...?"

"But good things come from the most unlikely sources sometimes," the smuggler grinned cryptically.

"What happe--?

"What happened to you? Yesterday you were all smiles and giggles, so proud of being the Rebels' new mascot, showing off your shiny collar to everyone... Now you're talking about tossing it in the garbage?"

Luke sank onto the seat, his lips twitching in a slight pout. "I'm not going to toss it in the garbage," he groaned. "Not really. I'm just in a bad mood."

"Hmmm... Not enough sleep?"

"Not nearly enough sleep. Two hours at most."

"I suppose that explains the dark circles under your eyes."

"And why you have won three matches in a row," said Luke pointing at the translucent figures on the table.

Han snorted. "No way, kid. You're losing because you're bad at it, period."

"Stop calling me 'kid'. I'm not a kid."

"I see... So you became a man last night?"

Luke's eyes widened. "What?"

"I guess I get it now. Your new friends decided to show you their gratitude and admiration, give you the hero treatment."

"Well, yes, some of them..."

"Possibly more friends than you were expecting."

"I wasn't expecting..."

"And there was booze involved."

Luke sighed. "Yeah, a couple of mechanics showed up with a case of Birhian ale."

"And things got rough. Too rough for your taste."

"Yes."

"I'm sorry to say it, but you should have seen it coming. Too many people, too much alcohol in the blood..." Han shrugged. "Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think an orgy is the cleverest way to lose your virginity."

Luke sent him a murderous glare. "I did NOT lose my virginity last night."

"Oh." Han winked. "Waiting for someone special?"

"I don't have to wait because..." Luke leaned forward and hissed, "It. Already. Happened."

"If you say so... kid," said Han, clearly disbelieving.

"Why do you have to be so annoying?"

"I don't have to. But why should I stop when it's so enjoyable?"

"I don't know, Han," said Luke sarcastically. "Maybe because you make others feel really uncomfortable?"

"Am I making you uncomfortable?" Han seemed very proud of it.

"I'm tired, Han. I'm dead tired, and in a really bad mood. I thought I had just mentioned this to you."

"Yeah, you just didn't explain why. If it wasn't an orgy..."

"There was no orgy!"

"Then...?"

Luke let out a long-suffering sigh. "They couldn't agree on where I should sleep."

"They who?"

"Everyone. Some thought I should go through the rookie trials, which apparently involves sleeping on the floor for I-don't-know-how-many weeks. Some thought that since I've been in battle already, I should be given a bed. Some thought that, because of the medal and all, I'm entitled to an officer's bunk."

"Ah, the subtleties of military hierarchy," said Han. "Rebels, Imperials, local armies, police forces... All the same."

"That's not true!"

"And I'm sure you have the experience to judge that. Where did you end up sleeping anyway?"

"All those places. About a dozen different beds."

"Oooh... how promiscuous."

"Sleep, Han. I'm talking about sleep!"

"They kept waking you up to assign you to a different bed?"

"Yes. Just when I was about to fall asleep, someone would come up to me and say I couldn't sleep there, and haul me to another room. And explain to me why I couldn't sleep where I was. Over and over again."

"Well, they had to make sure the concept sank into your groggy mind, right?" Han laughed.

"And at some point Wedge told me the only reason some were trying to give me the rookie treatment was also because of the medal. They were afraid I'd let it go to my head."

"Ah. A lesson on humility. I'm surprised you didn't welcome it. I thought you were training to be a monk..."

"A Jedi Knight."

"Yeah, whatever. It's good for you."

"I really doubt I'm the one around here needing a lesson on humility."

"Sure, but unfortunately it would probably be considered mutiny if those guys decided to order Her Worshipfulness to sleep on the floor. Real pity."

"She's a princess, Han. And she rewarded you with a fortune for saving her life. She gave you a medal for what you did in the battle. All that despite you being a spice smuggler of obscure origins and with a bad attitude."

"I'm soooo touched."

"You're still gonna change your mind about her."

"Don't hold your breath, kid."

"You did change your mind about the medal."

"As I've just told you, I did not change my mind one bit. I just embraced the advantages you were too puritan to contemplate."

"What the hell are you talking about?"

Han responded only with a broad, sly smile.

Luke gasped. "You did not have an orgy last night."

"Hmm... I don't know. That really depends on your expectations, doesn't it? I mean, how many would you consider an orgy?"

"Han!"

"Hey, I'm sorry, kid! I saw you surrounded by pilots, mechanics and whatnot, all of them admiring your medal and devouring you with their eyes... I thought you had your own party guaranteed. If I had known what they would put you through, I'd have invited you to mine."

Luke's face turned into several shades of red in mere seconds. "I would have never..."

"Too bad for you, kid. You wouldn't have slept much either, but you'd definitely be in a much better mood today."

"I can't believe you used your medal to get laid."

"I didn't. I don't have to. The medal was just an excuse."

"An excuse?"

Han got up and slowly, moving like a stalking predator, leaned over Luke, his index finger tracing a small circle on Luke's chest where the medal would have been. Their faces were only centimetres apart.

"So beautiful," Han whispered, his eyes locked on Luke's. "Can I take a closer look?"

Luke gulped. With much difficulty, he broke their gaze and slid sideways on the seat, putting some distance between them. "So that's it? You're saying everyone used the same stupid line on you and you went with them all?"

Han chuckled and sat back across from Luke. "I'm saying everyone used the same stupid line on me and I picked the most attractive one using it. It wasn't easy. I changed my mind lots of times."

"Wait... The most attractive one? You said it was an orgy."

"No, you said I didn't have an orgy and I said that depends on your expectations. It certainly felt like an orgy."

Luke grimaced at the look of sated bliss on Han's face. "Who was it?"

"Don't know."

"You don't know?"

"Didn't catch any names." Han shrugged. "It doesn't matter, does it? I'll be gone in a day or two."

Luke said nothing to this. Avoiding Han's gaze, he pressed the buttons to move one of the holopieces.

The Corellian frowned at the table. "Kid, you've just wasted the best opportunity you've ever had to have me on my knees."

Again Luke's face burned like a blazing sun.

v=v=v=v=v=v=v=v