I Cry On No One's Shoulder
by Arisa

Disclaimer: All previous disclaimers still apply.
Ah, procrastination, one of my middle names. ~_~
I was planning on having this the ‘peak chapter’
but yea know, I get side tracked in my writing…

Chapter 15: Selfish Love

Maya’s hand went right through the desk when she tried to pick up the newspaper clipping. She waved off Kurama’s silent offer to help, and read the article clipping from the place where it was resting on his desk.

Her brow furrowed after she read the first few lines. Then, tears slid down Maya’s cheeks unbidden as she bit her lip in order to keep her emotions under control.

Botan laid a sympathetic hand on Maya’s shoulder. "I am sorry."

"Has my suicide case been forgotten?" Maya asked.

"Not completely," Kurama answered, walking over to where Maya and Botan were standing. "They think the two cases can be linked tougher with your mother's boyfriend. They have not gotten so far yet, but all the paperwork they have to fill out is understandable."

Maya nodded and stood in silence for a few seconds. "Oh, and you still have not told me your story, Shuuichi. But, I understand," Maya bowed her head, "with the situation at hand. I am going to write my story down on paper, so you can read it whenever you have time, but I do hope you will read it. Someone knowing my life story will make it easier for me to move on. I hope your mother will have a nice Mother's Day." Maya stated, meeting Kurama’s eyes.

Kurama studied Maya for a few moments, and then he smiled. "Thank you."

Maya’s eyes grew a little big larger, and flushed lightly. ‘He must be a real pro at this…’ she grumbled in her mind; she had not felt the floating-like mind-set for many years. She then smiled softly up at Kurama, and then turned to Botan. "I guess we better get back…"

"I believe so, lets get going. Bye-" She stopped in mid sentence to correct herself before she said the wrong name. "Shuuichi."

"Goodbye." Kurama waved his hand slightly, and then looked down towards Jiro. "Come on, lets go."

Botan made her oar appear, and flew out of Kurama’s open window. Maya started to float over the sill, but looked over her shoulder at Kurama for a second. ‘I can’t help but wonder…’ She started to think, but shook her head and flushed again, a little redder, and then disappeared.

Shiori tossed side to side in her bed, entangling herself in the covers. "No, don’t do it… Please… He still has time…" she mumbled out load.

"I cannot do this… I can't…" Kurama’s spoken thoughts came out in a mixture of sobs and coughs.

Shiori relaxed from where she was forced to observe, trapped in her own dream, bound to where she was standing with invisible binds. She could move her head, her eyes, and mouth, but nothing else.

"Please… Take me out of this pain! I know you can!" Shuuichi was standing in front of Kurama, swaying a little bit because he had not stood on his legs in a long time.

"I am sorry… I cannot…"

"Are you that selfish?!" Shuuichi whispered harshly.

"No! It is not that! I can’t bring myself to… To… I am sorry…" Kurama looked down at the glinting dagger that he was clutching in his right hand, and then he let it drop to the floor, where it landed with a clatter.

"I know you can… Please…" he cried out. "…I beg you…" A small tear ran down his left cheek.

"NO! Don’t do it! Please, Shuuichi, he still has time to live, that I want to share with him!" Shiori cried out, but her voice was not heard, as if her sons were in another dimension completely different from where she was being held prisoner to her nightmare.

"Are you sure you want to die?" Kurama asked, his voice noticeably gaining strength.

"Yes, I am going to die one time or another," Shuuichi answered with unwavering voice.

Shiori's vision was focused on her son's left eye without even wishing to do so, like she was a videogame character, forced to do what the person at the controller wished for her to do by pressing a button or moving the joystick.

Then, her son's eye started to go from a soft, passionate large green eye, to a demonic gold eye, which was considerably smaller, with strands of hair hiding some parts of the eye.

"If that is your wish, I will grant it," a deep, male, wise-sounding voice stated, stripped of feelings and emotion.

"NO!!!!!!! PLEASE DON’T KILL HIM!!!!!!! PLEASE!" Shiori cried out. She heard the person who just took her son's place pick up the dagger off of the floor.

The buzzing of Shiori's alarm clock woke her up in a cold sweat. She sat up straight in bed, checking her surroundings, making sure that it was just a dream. Shiori looked annoyingly at her alarm clock, and turned off the sharp buzzing it was making.

Her door then opened and standing in the doorframe was her husband holding a small wooden tray. "Happy Mother's Day, dear. I made you breakfast." He smiled happily and then walked in. "My, it seems like you did not get a second of sleep, bad dream?" He asked looking down at his wife.

"I don’t know if ‘bad dream’ even fits to what my imagination thought up," Shiori muttered, and then brightened up. "It smells lovely! When did you arrive home?"

"Oh, about an hour or two ago. He is sleeping just fine."

Shiori's eyes grew distant and troubled. Hatanaka noticed this, and he laid a hand on her shoulder, holding the tray with his other hand. "Don’t think about this today, please? It is Mother's Day, and I want you to have an enjoyable, relaxing day."

Shiori looked up and smiled. "I will try, thank you for being so concerned about me."

Hatanaka laid the tray at the foot of the bed, then got into bed beside his wife, and pulled her close. "Can you please forget, just for today?"

"I will try my best," Shiori answered, resting her head on his chest.

He put his arm around her, then lifted her chin up to him, and looked into her eyes. "Can you give me that smile that made me fall in love with you?" he asked softly.

Her eyes grew tears, but she did not shed them; Shiori smiled as best as she could. Hatanaka chuckled. "Can I have a rain check for that then, please?" he asked affectionately and rubbed her shoulder.

"I guess I could do that…" She looked up to him, snuggled on his white silk-covered chest, content as a cat could be.

"Your breakfast is getting cold…" Hatanaka commented.

"I don’t care…" Shiori mumbled, shifting so she was more comfortable.

"But I worked hard on that!" Hatanaka cried out, seeing that the tray was almost falling off the bed due to Shiori's movement.

"You did say, after all, it is Mothers Day…" Shiori stated closing her eyes and inhaling her husband's distinguishing scent.

"I guess I am guilty to that…" Hatanaka smiled and rested his head on top of his wife’s. "You are in serious debt to me in cuddling…" Shiori mumbled.

After nineteen minutes of sitting in bed completely silent, for they did not need words to exchange thoughts, they heard Kurama’s door open and his semi-shuffling footsteps come down the hall.

"Can I make up my time later on, if that is okay for you?" Hatanaka asked softly.

Shiori smiled, sat up, and then took the tray that was at the end of the bed and started to eat.

"Do you want me to warm that up for you?" Hatanaka asked.

"No, thanks, it is just fine."

Hatanaka then got out of bed and stretched. "If I sit there any longer I will fall asleep. If you do not mind, I am going to get some tea…"

"You should really get some sleep," Shiori stated.

"I should be fine, I don’t want to mess up my sleeping patterns."

After Kurama checked to make sure that his parents were in the living room, he went back upstairs to get Jiro out from his closet where he kept him during the night.

"Okay, little buddy, behave… Please?" Kurama asked after he opened his closet door, letting out Jiro, then sat on the floor carpet, looking up at Kurama as if saying ‘Who, me?’

Kurama looked over his shoulder because his ears picked up footsteps heading coming in the direction of his room. He bent down and picked Jiro and then set him back on his feet inside of the closet, then shut the door.

"Kurama? Can I come in?" Shiori asked as she knocked on his door.

"Uhhh… Sure, mother," Kurama answered. He had never heard his mother's tone like this before, partly fear, and part helplessness. And she also had never asked to come in at his door before either…

"Is something wrong?" Kurama asked worriedly when his mom walked into his room.

"Please! Don’t kill your brother!" Shiori said suddenly and then ran over to Kurama like a little girl who was scared from a nightmare going to seek comfort from her parents. "I had this horrible dream last night, it seemed so real! It felt real! Someone… Someone possessed you and killed your brother! I know it might seem selfish, but he still has time left… Please! Please don’t let anything possess you!"

Kurama’s green eyes grew large and shocked at how his mother was acting. "It was a dream, mother, no need to get upset," he said finally. "Why would I let anyone possess me and then kill him?"

"I… I don’t know. You did not seem… Normal… In my dream… Please… Don’t, I beg you…"

‘Maybe she is going into hysterics from all the stress she has been under…’ Kurama wondered. "Don’t worry, I do not see any point in murdering my brother, nor in letting anything use me."

Shiori nodded her head, and then studied her son's eyes for a couple of seconds, and left the room. But then she turned around and walked back to her son's doorway. "I am sorry, it is just that so many things have been going on lately."

"It’s okay, just enjoy yourself today, you deserve a break."

Shiori nodded and smiled. "You and your stepfather say almost the same exact things." She then walked down the hall.

Kurama suddenly felt a large, sudden weight descend onto his shoulders and heart. He walked slowly to his door and closed it softly. Kurama closed his eyes, sighed, and leaned against the door. "What do I do?" he muttered out loud. "My mother wants to spend as much time with her stepson, who is on his deathbed and in severe pain, and wishes to be killed with all of his heart…"

Shiori stood at the counter, filling with water a glass that already had ice in it. She glanced down at the counter where she usually laid miscellaneous papers to see the brochures for the cemetery. Shiori sighed heavily. "Did you look at these yet?" Shiori asked her husband, who was out in the living room reading the newspaper.

"Look at what?"

"These pamphlets the hospital gave me."

"I thought you agreed not to think about this today," her husband stated rather firmly.

Kurama heard scratching and whimpering at his closet's door. He smiled and walked over to his closet and let Jiro out, who happily circled Kurama's feet.

Kurama sat down on the floor and Jiro walked over to him and sat next to him, looking up with large luminous eyes, knowing something was bothering the person who rescued him from the streets, but not knowing what to do.

"I have taken many lives during my years…" Kurama admitted. "But none of them affected me as much as this has been."

Jiro nudged Kurama’s arm hopefully, and Kurama started to pet Jiro’s head. "At least you will still be here for me, right?" Kurama smiled. "Now I know why they call dogs, ‘Man’s best friend’."