Part Two
The Ogre Courts the Siren

The night sky was clear, littered with sparkling stars – perfect for what he had in mind. Thankfully, the neighborhood was quiet, so no one would wonder what he was up to. He placed the ribbon on the box of chocolates between his teeth and started scaling the wall of the building.

Thankfully, he had memorized the location of her window, so he wouldn’t end up in someone else’s apartment. That would be, at best, an embarrassing situation. It didn’t help that he hadn’t done any climbing since his ninth grade gym classes...

But so far, everything seemed to be going well. All he had to do was take one slow step at a time, wedging his climbing claws in-between the bricks, ever-so-slowly coming closer to his beloved’s balcony--

He started, having time to yelp a quick "What the--?!" that turned into a "Shit!" as he lost his grip on the wall and fell to the pile of garbage and boxes below.

"I suppose I should have warned you."

"Owwwww…"

"Stop whining and let me take care of it," Kurama sighed, rubbing the peroxide into the scrapes on Kuwabara’s cheek. "I’m sorry, though. I completely forgot to mention that... little detail..."

"What the hell was that?" Kuwabara moaned. "Everything was going fine, and then... then that noise..."

Kurama winced. "Yeah... uh... Hiei doesn’t come around as often anymore, so he had an alarm installed in case you decided to... ‘mess with’ Yukina."

"What an ass," Kuwabara spat. "I didn’t bother him when he was bending over backwards for Mukuro..."

Kurama didn’t answer at first. He continued treating the bumps and scrapes falling from the apartment building had given Kuwabara. "So... why did you climb the wall, anyway? Yukina lives with your sister, doesn’t she? Why didn’t you just ask for the key?"

"Because that’s not romantic," Kuwabara argued. "I wanted to do like they do in the movies. I had the present in my teeth and everything!"

"And what did Yukina think of you falling in the garbage?"

"She didn’t see it," the man admitted. "I ran away before anyone came to check it out. How could I let her see me like that?"

"Or smell you," Kurama added, pinching his nose. "Have you bathed yet?"

"No... Can I use your shower after?"

"Clean the tub when you’re done." Satisfied with his work on Kuwabara’s cheeks, Kurama drew away and returned his medical supplies to the bathroom. "So what are you going to do now?" he called, putting the peroxide back in the medicine cabinet.

"I’m not sure," came Kuwabara’s reply. "Maybe I’ll try again tonight. I won’t scale the wall this time, though... Maybe I’ll stand outside of her apartment and sing while I play a violin or a guitar..."

By then, Kurama had returned to the bedroom. Kuwabara’s brow was knit together as he thought. Kurama rubbed his eye. "Do you even know how to play the violin or the guitar?"

"...I took clarinet lessons in elementary school."

"And how do you plan to sing and play the clarinet at the same time...?"

"I don’t know, okay? I’m just sounding off ideas." His friend threw up his hands. "Didn’t you say you were going to help me?"

Kurama walked to his desk and sat down. "I’m thinking of charging you for this," he muttered, pushing aside the rough draft of the unpublished Woman for Dummies. "Why don’t you try something that doesn’t involve you sneaking into her apartment building late at night?"

"Like what?"

Kurama closed his eyes as he considered his friend’s options. "Oh, I don’t know... You could always take her out to a restaurant and feed her some fancy food... Or you could walk with her to the library she likes to visit everyday..." He sighed dreamily as his mind conjured the image of a zestful young onhi – so like a human – with long, scarlet hair and a passion for cooking that... "Or you could surprise her by inviting her for dinner, bursting out of the kitchen stark naked and taking her on the table--!"

Kuwabara’s jaw had dropped. "What?!" he yelped. "You want me to what?"

"Never mind," Kurama said curtly, waving a hand. "Forget I said that last part. That would probably scare the daylights out of the poor thing..." He frowned as he thought. "Hm... well, have you tried any of the classics?"

"Classics?"

"Yeah. You know, flowers, chocolates, promises you don’t plan on keeping..."

Kuwabara blinked. "Flowers?" He paused thoughtfully. "I think Yukina likes flowers..."

"There you go," Kurama said with a grin. "So give her a big bouquet of flowers!"

"You think it’ll work?"

"All girls like to get flowers," Kurama assured him. "Trust me."

"Okay." His friend nodded decisively. "I’ll do that."

"Good luck," Kurama called as the man headed to the bathroom. "And don’t forget to clean the tub when you’re finished!"

There was just something about Yukina… Maybe it was those pretty eyes, or her adorable face, or that beautiful hair... or her cute voice... Whatever the case, something about her made Kuwabara... so uncertain of himself. He was never sure exactly what she thought of him. Sure, she was nice to him, but Yukina was nice to everyone. He had no idea just where he stood with her.

Hopefully, that would change today. He tightened his grip on the large bouquet of flowers that were hidden behind his back. Kurama had said that all girls liked getting flowers; it made them feel special, knowing that there was someone out there who was thinking about them. Hopefully the sheer size of his bouquet would let Yukina know that he was always thinking of her…

He raised his hand and knocked on the door to the apartment Yukina shared with his sister. He waited several moments, and then knocked again. He waited for several moments more, shifting from one foot to the other. What was taking her so long? Was she even home? She hadn’t gone to the library yet, had she?

The door opened when he’d raised his fist to knock a third time. The chain-lock was still on the door, and one of Yukina’s red eyes peeked out. When she recognized him, the skin around her eye crinkled, and Kuwabara knew she was smiling.

"Kazuma-san!" she chirped happily. "Good morning!"

"Good morning, Yukina-san!" he chirped back, giving her a wide grin. "How are you today?" he added as she opened the door.

"A little tired, to be honest," she admitted, rubbing at her eyes with a small hand.

It was then that Kuwabara noticed she was wearing nothing but a robe. A beautiful robe fabricated with light blue satin, a robe that fit her slim form so well...

He swallowed, suddenly grateful for the baggy sweater he was wearing. "I’m sorry... did I wake you?" he asked earnestly, already feeling guilty.

"Sort of," she replied with a shrug. "Don’t worry about it. It was time for me to get up, anyway."

But the dark circles under her eyes bothered him so... "You didn’t sleep well?"

She shrugged again and moved to the side, inviting him in. He tried to enter the apartment slowly, hiding his excitement, but he still flashed a delighted grin that he directed to the carpet as she shut the door.

"I was having such a nice sleep... But then the alarm went off." She sighed quietly. "Everyone woke up and the police came to investigate... It was a couple of hours before we got back to sleep."

Kuwabara swallowed. "You don’t say...?"

Yukina nodded as she led him to the sofa and motioned for him to sit down. "From the way it looked, someone was snooping through the garbage. I don’t think I’ll ever understand why humans find that amusing..."

"Uh... me, neither..." He didn’t accept the offer to sit. "Um, Yukina...?"

"Yes?"

Here we go... "Uh... I brought something for you."

The smile she gave him warmed his heart. "You didn’t have to do that!"

"But I wanted to," he insisted, feeling the corners of his mouth curl upwards in a smile of his own. "I hope you like it."

"Kazuma, you don’t have to hope," she laughed. "If it came from you, I know I’m going to like it!"

He tried not to grin like an idiot – he really did. But it was a lost cause. Thankfully, Yukina did nothing but smile when his mouth broke into a grin that surely split his face in two.

"Here it is!" he announced, and presented the fair ice demon with the enormous bouquet of flowers he’d brought especially for her. There were tulips, carnations, daises, roses... and some that he didn’t even know the names of.

Her smile, impossible as it may have seemed, widened even further. "Oh, Kazuma, they’re beautiful!" she cried, her eyes glittering like rubies. "They must have cost a fortune!" She reached out. "May I? I have to put them in water!"

"They’re yours, Yukina-san," he said, and let her take the bouquet. "I got them just for you." He was surprised he’d managed to say it as calmly as he had – especially since "Shelikesitshelikesitshelikesitshelikesit" was playing over and over in his mind.

"You really shouldn’t have, Kazuma. Really. But thank you so much. They’re just gorgeous!" Yukina took hold of the giant cluster of flowers and admired them more closely. "But they must have cost you an arm and a leg..."

"Nothing is too expensive for you, Yukina," he offered quietly, watching eagerly as she bent her head to sniff the bouquet.

"They smell wonderful," she sighed, and buried her face further into the bunch of flowers. "Simply wonder--OUCH!!!"

Kuwabara started at Yukina’s sharp exclamation of pain. The ice demon dropped the bouquet and covered her face with her hands. "Ow!"

The bouquet hit the ground and the flowers scattered over the floor around them. Kuwabara glanced down at them as he lurched forward to take Yukina in his arms. "What--?" And then he saw it – or rather, them.

The bees buzzed as they untangled themselves from deep within the bouquet and zoomed off. Kuwabara guided Yukina out of their way and watched them zip over to the open window and fly out. Part of him had wanted to run after the insects and bring them to a very gory death, but he was more concerned about Yukina.

"Are you all right?" he asked, trying not to sound panicked.

"...My... nose hurts," she muttered, pushing away from him. When she looked up, Kuwabara gaped.

"We have to get you to the hospital!"

"She hates me," Kuwabara moaned into the pillow.

"Oh, she does not," Kurama consoled, sitting on the bed and patting his friend on the back. "You’re overreacting."

"Am I?" the man asked. "It’s my fault she was stung by those bees, you know."

"No, it’s not. It’s the store clerk’s fault. He should have made sure there were no insects of any kind in the bouquet before he sold it to you."

Kuwabara swallowed. "Uh... there was no clerk involved..."

"Where’d you buy them?"

Kuwabara rolled over so they could see each other’s faces. "I didn’t buy them, I picked them myself."

Kurama pressed a hand against his forehead. "I see..."

"What?" Kuwabara sounded a little defensive. "It’s not like I have five thousand yen to blow on flowers, you know."

"I know, I know... Besides, it’s the thought that counts..."

"It’s the thought, all right... and I should have thought before presenting Yukina with a large bouquet of bee-infested wildflowers..." His friend sighed and dropped his face into his hands.

Kurama patted the man’s shoulder. "Well... look on the bright side. At least now, Yukina knows she’s allergic to bee stings, right?"

"She could have died, you moron!"

"Don’t be silly," Kurama replied, deciding to shrug off the "moron" comment. "She’s a demon. She’ll just be puffy and itchy and just plain miserable for a week or two, that’s all."

Kuwabara moaned louder. "This is all my fault... She’s going to avoid me like I’m a bee…"

"Did you apologize to her on the way to the hospital?" Kurama asked.

"Didn’t have time... I was too busy trying not to kill anybody during the drive there."

Kurama didn’t say anything about that. Under normal circumstances, Kuwabara considered the posted speed limits as suggestions only. Never mind what he thought of them during a real emergency... "Well, did you apologize while you were waiting for the doctor?"

"Uh... no." Kuwabara winced. "I... I felt so bad... I couldn’t face her. Shizuru was taking her break, so while she stayed with Yukina, I... kinda... left."

Kurama tried hard not to sigh. Hopefully Shizuru would at least somewhat explain her brother’s actions to Yukina... "All right... but I still think you’re overreacting. Yukina isn’t stupid; she knows you didn’t plant the bees in there on purpose."

"Oh, god..." Kuwabara breathed, and Kurama suddenly realized that this was a possibility his friend hadn’t considered. "What if she does think I put them there on purpose?!" He sat up and grabbed Kurama’s shoulders. "Now she probably thinks I’m out to get her, or something!"

"What did I say about overreacting...?" Kurama wiggled out of the man’s grip and folded his arms. "Kuwabara, stop being ridiculous. Yukina doesn’t think ill of you, that I can be sure of. She’s not like that."

"...You’re sure?"

"Have I ever been wrong?" Kurama held up a hand to forestall any comment. "I meant when it comes to women."

"Well... I guess not." Kuwabara cocked his head. "So... what do I do now? I have to find some way to make it up to her... And I’m not getting her anymore flowers."

Kurama tapped his lips. "Well... you could bake her a batch of shortbread cookies. Those are always delicious... Or you could take her to the amusement park. Yukina likes to laugh and have fun, right?" Kurama’s eyes drifted shut as he remembered the sleeked, scaly gurokya with oily skin that his hands would just glide over... "Or you could offer her a nice, hot bath, barge in stark naked while she’s relaxing, with your body covered in bath oil, and then take her over the edge of the bathtub--!"

Kurama yelped when Kuwabara whacked him upside the head. "Just who the hell do you think you are, you sick, twisted pervert?! I’d never do that to Yukina!"

"Forget that last part," Kurama said curtly, waving the matter away. "Uh... let me see... Of course!" He patted Kuwabara’s shoulder and beamed. "You could take her out to the movies!"

"The movies?" Kuwabara echoed. "Isn’t that kind of old?"

Kurama rolled his eyes. "You gave her flowers, remember?"

"Oh, yeah..." The man shrugged. "Okay, that sounds easy enough. I can do that."

"Wonderful," Kurama said, standing up and striding back to his desk. "Call and arrange it soon, preferably not on a Friday or the weekend, though. Then the theater might be crowded, and you wouldn’t have much time to be close to her alone."

"Right." Kuwabara nodded, and then bit his lip. "Uh... what kind of movie?"

Kurama tapped his chin. "Hm... well, nothing really mushy. Contrary to what some think, not very many women enjoy sappy movies... But then, nothing with too much action, either. You want Yukina to know that you have an intellectual side, and that it takes more than flashy lights and graphics to grab your attention. Try to go to something in-between the two, if you can."

Kuwabara nodded again. "All right. I’ll do that. Thanks, Kurama," he added, and bounced off the bed and started toward the door.

"And, Kuwabara," Kurama called, "don’t forget to buy her a snack, too. Don’t just load yourself with treats for your own stomach, okay?"

"Like I’d deny the lovely Yukina a taste of cinema-style popcorn!" the man snorted. "Kurama, give me some credit. I’m not completely clueless, you know."

"Not completely," Kurama agreed, flipping through his draft, armed with a red pen. "But you are a few fries short of a poutine."

"What…?"

"Nothing. Good luck."

"Thanks," Kuwabara replied, and disappeared out the door.

He stared at the phone for ten minutes, gathering the courage to make the call. It wasn’t as if he didn’t know the number; his sister lived in the same apartment. But, still...

He checked his equipment for the umpteenth time, making sure he had everything in place to make the date. He had his pen and paper to mark down the date and time, he had the telephone – which was obviously necessary to phone Yukina in the first place – and he had the list of movies that would be available for the next couple of weeks.

Finally, he decided that he wasn’t going to get anywhere by procrastinating. With shaking fingers, he picked the phone up off the hook and dialed Yukina’s number very slowly. He settled the phone against his ear and waited.

One ring.

He held his breath, and his stomach started flopping around.

Two rings.

...Well, who answered after the first ring, anyway? Only really lonely people jumped at a chance to answer the phone...

Three rings.

...And some people didn’t like talking on the phone at all. Kuwabara bit his lip.

Four rings.

...What if Yukina didn’t want to talk to him, after what had happened with the bees and the flowers...?

Five rings.

...What if she was deliberately ignoring him? What if she--

"‘ello?"

Kuwabara started. The voice on the other end had startled him. It sounded very familiar, but... "Hello? May I please speak with Yukina?"

"This is she."

It was...? Well, it sounded like her, but it also sounded like she was... stuffed up. "Uh, hi, Yukina. It’s Kazuma."

"Kazuma! ‘ow are you?"

"Not bad…and how are you?"

"Still a little swollen. My dose is puffy."

Kuwabara made a mental note to make sure he arranged the date for sometime the following week, when Yukina would be back to normal. "Are you all right?"

"I’ll be okay. It could ‘ave been worse. Thanks for driving me to the ‘ospital."

"Don’t mention it," he assured her. "It was the least I could do." He waited for a moment, and then decided to ask. "Say, Yukina..."

"Yes?"

"You... don’t... have any plans for next Wednesday, do you?"

There was a pause before she answered. "...No, why?"

He took a deep breath before he made the offer. "I was wondering... if you’d like to go and see a movie with me?"

For a moment, Yukina didn’t answer, and Kuwabara was afraid she was preparing to refuse him in a gentle way... But then she said, "I’d love to. What time?"

"Is nine-thirty all right with you?"

"Perfect."

He had to stop himself from jumping up and whooping with joy. "What movie would you like to go and see?"

She thought about it before she answered. "You know what, why don’t you pick the movie? I’ve only been to a theater a couple of times, so I really wouldn’t be a good judge..."

"Not a problem!" he chirped. "So...um..." Let her rest, his brain supplied. She’s still ill, remember? "...Uh, I’ll let you go, so you can go back to bed. And... I’ll see you then?"

"Yes!" she chirped back, sounding cheerful even with a swollen, puffy nose. "Have a good day!"

"You, too!" he replied, and then they hung up.

Kuwabara sighed in relief. That had been easier than he’d thought. He’d asked Yukina out, and she’d said yes. That left but one thing for him to do…

He jumped up, knocking over his chair, and let out a whooping, "YIPPY!!!"

Kuwabara was behaving himself quite well. At least, he thought he was, and Yukina hadn’t given him any odd looks, so he figured she thought he was being a gentleman, too. Two kids had cut in line at the snack bar, and he hadn’t bashed their skulls in. Instead, he’d smiled at Yukina and whispered a quick, "Eager kids, huh?" to which she had replied with a smile.

The entire evening was going well. He had worn something nice, but had not over-dressed. He was in his khaki pants with a forest green button-up shirt. Yukina always looked beautiful, but when he had picked her up and seen what she’d selected for the evening... it was a wonder his jaw hadn’t dropped. She was wearing black dress pants with an aqua, tight-fitting, long-sleeved shirt. She was gorgeous.

And, he added proudly, almost smirking at the other men around him, she was with him.

Not that he thought of Yukina as any sort of possession. Quite the contrary. He was proud of himself because the beautiful, intelligent, perfect creature known as Yukina had chosen to be in his presence.

The drive to the cinema had gone well, too. And Kuwabara had managed to keep his irritation in check when he hadn’t been able to find a decent parking spot. Usually he would have complained about how stupid other people were – especially when he found himself next to cars that were parked crooked and not in the lines.

He ordered two small buckets of popcorn and a soft drink for both himself and Yukina, and was about to carry both before Yukina insisted that she at least take the drinks. They entered the theater and chose seats in the middle of the room. Kuwabara glanced at Yukina’s body, a bit lacking in the height department, and frowned worriedly. Hopefully no one tall would sit in front of her.

...Though if someone did... she could always sit in Kuwabara’s lap...

"I hope you like this movie," he whispered to her as the lights began to dim. "It’s back in theaters for a limited time. I first saw it when I was younger, at a birthday sleepover at a friend’s house."

"I’m sure I’ll enjoy it, Kazuma," Yukina whispered back. "You picked it, after all. And you have good taste."

He grinned widely as the trailers began to roll, and stuffed his mouth full of popcorn... but not too full. He didn’t want to look like a pig.

By the time the film ended, Kuwabara had begun to wonder if it had been the right kind of movie to take Yukina to see. He wasn’t sure why, but it might have had something to do with the way she was clinging to his arm – and the way her grip refused to loosen even on the way out of the theater and to the car.

...And while a soft, nervous, "Uh, Yukina-san, we have to get in the car separately..." had encouraged her to let go long enough for them to sit inside the vehicle, the ice demon latched onto him again as soon as he’d settled in and shut his door.

Kuwabara cleared his throat. "Uh... Yukina... I need my arm to shift gears."

Yukina hung on for a few minutes more, looking left and right – for what, exactly, Kuwabara didn’t know – before nodding and releasing him.

"Thanks," he whispered, and started the car.

The drive home was very quiet, and during the entire trip, Yukina remained very still, and looked very nervous.

When Kuwabara pulled up to her building, the ice demon thanked him curtly and nearly tripped over her own feet in her haste to get inside. She hadn’t even waited for him to walk her to the door...

He swallowed, watching his beloved’s apartment building for a few minutes longer, and then finally gave up and left.

"--And then she just wouldn’t let go of me, and she looked terrified, and when I dropped her off she didn’t even wait for me to escort her back to her apartment and I don’t know what I did wrong and--"

"Whoa, whoa," Kurama murmured, gesturing for Kuwabara to slow down. He’d only caught the last half of his friend’s rambling. He sat up, rubbing at his eyes and pushing the man away. "Kuwabara, I had a long day, and I’m tired. I was having such a good sleep--wait a minute." He rubbed his eyes again and blinked. "Kuwabara, how did you get into my apartment?"

Kuwabara held up his key-chain. "We all have keys to your apartment, remember?"

"Since when?" His head was still fuzzy, buzzing with a need for sleep.

"Since we all met at your place for the convention a couple of years back. We were all in separate cars and needed keys to get in."

"...Didn’t I ask for them back after...?"

Kuwabara shrugged sheepishly. "Kurama, I’m sorry I woke you, but I think I did something very, very wrong."

"Okay..." Kurama shoved the covers aside and turned on the lamp. He winced at the sudden brightness in the room. "Oh, spare me..."

"Huh?" Kuwabara asked.

"Nothing..." Kurama smoothed his hair, trying to hide the evidence of his bed-head. "Kuwabara, why do you think you did something wrong?"

"Shizuru told me that Yukina had nightmares the first night after the movie, and then for a few nights after, and she won’t return my calls..."

She wouldn’t return Kuwabara’s calls? That wasn’t something he’d expected... "Kuwabara, which movie did you take her to...?"

"The Exorcist."

Kurama dropped his face into his hands. "Oh, Kuwabara..."

"I know, I know, it was stupid! I never should have done it! I didn’t mean to scar her for life."

"I don’t think you scarred her for life, but... Gods, Kuwabara, why’d you take her to The Exorcist?"

"I wanted her to get scared and hang on to me..."

"I take it you succeeded."

"A little too well," Kuwabara admitted. "I feel terrible..."

"You should," Kurama muttered. "I was having such a good sleep... I’m not a therapist on call, you know..."

"Kurama," Kuwabara whined, seizing his shoulders and shaking him, "you have to help me. Please? I have to fix this!"

"Hush," Kurama hissed, and pulled out of his friend’s grip. "You’ll wake my neighbors, and I don’t want to deal with them."

"But will you help me? You’re so good at this courtship thing..."

"I know, and one day, you, too, will know all the ways of Woman."

"So you’ll help me?"

Kurama shrugged. "I said I would, didn’t I? And besides, I’m awake now."

"So what should I do to make Yukina forgive me?"

"Are you sure she’s angry at you?"

"She must be... She won’t answer my calls or anything. How can I apologize if she won’t talk to me?"

"Maybe you should offer to take her out on another date – without the movie this time."

Kuwabara chewed his bottom lip. "But will she even want to associate with me...? She won’t talk to me, remember?"

"I’m sure she’ll come around." Kurama waved the matter away. "Don’t worry about it. Yukina is very nice, and she doesn’t hold grudges."

"So... what should I do for my next attempt?"

Kurama folded his arms as he thought about it. "Well... you could take her to a virtual reality game. Those are amusing... Or you could just take her to get ice cream or coffee. That’s simple, but effective..." His eyes slid shut as his mind conjured the image of a beautiful, mysterious ragora with leafy tendrils she could summon to wrap around his... "Or you could take her through the forest, tell her you’re going to get water, and then sneak into the bushes only to return seconds later stark naked to take her on the grass--!"

"Would you stop that?"

"Sorry." Kurama frowned and thought for another couple of minutes. "Hm... nothing too exotic, but something that will reassure Yukina that Kuwabara’s taste in entertainment doesn’t have to involve horror..."

"Well, it doesn’t," Kuwabara murmured. "I don’t want her to think that all I watch is horror... I don’t think that’s really her thing..."

"I know!" Kurama cried, slamming his fist into his palm. "Kuwabara, you could..."

He was sweating – much more than usual.

Kuwabara wiped his hands on his pants and winced. He hoped he didn’t smell; he doubted Yukina would appreciate being pestered by a stinky, sweaty ogre who watched movies about possession...

...He shouldn’t have worn a white sweater...

He took a deep breath and stepped forward, closing the distance between himself and the door to Yukina and his sister’s apartment. He didn’t want to knock – he really didn’t want to knock... The last thing he wanted to see was a disgusted ice demon turning up her nose at him and slamming the door in his face...

If that happened, he’d die.

Finally, he decided that he’d never have the possibility for a second chance if he didn’t knock.

...So he knocked.

No one answered.

So he knocked again.

Still, no one answered.

And so, with a heavy heart, Kuwabara turned and prepared to leave the building. The sound of an opening door stopped him in his tracks.

"Kazu!" Shizuru’s voice called. "Sorry!"

Kuwabara turned and raised an eyebrow. "What are you doing home from work?"

"What are you doing home from work?" his sister retorted.

"I only work on the weekends for now, remember? Is Yukina here?"

"She is," Shizuru said, "but she’s ill."

"Again?" Kuwabara winced. "Poor Yukina..."

"That’s what I said," Shizuru chuckled. "It appears that even demons can succumb to the common cold."

"Does she have a fever?"

"No. She’s in the ‘my nose is so stuffed up my head feels like it’s going to explode’ phase, and going through more Kleenexes than she should." Shizuru shook her head. "Honestly, all that does is make it worse..."

"Uh-huh... So, may I please come in?"

"I suppose," Shizuru said with a shrug, and moved aside to admit him.

Kuwabara nodded his thanks and made his way to Yukina bedroom. He didn’t go inside, though – a man, Kurama had told him, should never venture into a woman’s personal chambers without having prior permission. He knocked lightly on the door and called, "Yukina-san?" very quietly.

A soft sniffle was heard, and then a nasal-voiced Yukina replied, "Hello, Kazuma-san."

"May I come in?"

"Sure."

He eagerly opened the door and went inside. Eager, of course, to see that she was all right – not to see what kind of nightgown she was wearing. Of course not.

The blinds were drawn and the lamp was on. Yukina was in a robe, covered to her waist in blankets, and she was reading a book.

"How are you feeling, Yukina-san?"

The ice demon winced. "How, with all your human technology, could you not find a cure for this ailment...?"

"Uh..." Kuwabara grinned sheepishly. "You might want to ask Shizuru about that. She’s the nurse, after all."

"Maybe I will..."

"Look, Yukina... I’m... sorry for taking you to see that scary movie. I shouldn’t have done that. I should have asked and made sure that the selection was all right with you."

Yukina blinked. "What...?" Then she blinked. "Oh! Oh, don’t worry about it, Kazuma. I should be the one to apologize. I overreacted, and I shouldn’t have. The movie wasn’t that bad. Though," she added thoughtfully, "I wonder if human bodies can really move like that...?"

Kuwabara shrugged. "I don’t think so." Not that he was giving it any serious thought. The important thing was, Yukina had apologized to him. And that meant, judging from the rest of her short speech, that she wasn’t angry or disgusted with him. She probably hadn’t returned his calls because she was ill. Now everything made sense...

"Yukina...?"

"Yes?"

"Um... this may not be the right time to ask, since you’re sick, but..." He tried to remember the words Kurama had instructed him to use... "Well... the next evening you have free, I would be honored if you would allow me to take you out for dinner."

For a second or two, Yukina didn’t react. But just when Kuwabara was starting to wonder if this had been a bad idea, after all, her mouth turned up in a bright smile.

"I’d love to go out to dinner with you!"

You would? "Really?"

"Really!"

"Uh... is Friday all right with you?" Or would that be too soon...?

"Friday is fine," she replied with a nod. "Will you be picking the restaurant?"

"If you want me to," he managed. Half of him hoped she would offer to choose instead, but the other half wanted her to confide in him. If she insisted on picking the place herself, that might mean that she didn’t trust him to pick anything good.

...And she had reason to, considering the movie he’d dragged her to...

"Oh, please? I know you’ll pick a perfect restaurant."

Her confidence was both comforting... and intimidating. Now he had to be absolutely sure he picked a good one. "All right, then!" he chirped with more perkiness than he actually felt. "I’ll pick you up at six o’clock."

"I’ll be ready," she assured him. "So I’ll see you then?"

"For sure," he promised, and waved before backing out the door, keeping his eyes trained on that beautiful face. He grunted quietly when his back hit the wall, feeling his cheeks warm. Yukina just closed her eyes and smiled wider. With one last, "‘Bye!" Kuwabara turned and fled the room.

He waved to Shizuru on the way out of their apartment, and then jogged all the way down the stairs, through the lobby, and out to the parking lot. When he was shut tight inside his car, he let his face fall against the steering wheel with a sigh of relief.

Yukina didn’t hate him. She was giving him another chance.

...It was only after someone rapped on his window that he realized his face was on his horn.

"It was a disaster," Kuwabara wailed, sobbing into Kurama’s pillow. "A DISASTER!"

Kurama wrinkled his nose. "...I see..." he replied, already wondering how he was going to wash all of Kuwabara’s mucus out of his beloved pillow.

"I’m so stupid!" the man moaned. "I should have known that seafood would upset Yukina’s stomach! I should have figured as much!"

Kurama gave the blubbering figure a flat stare, and winced a little when his friend used his pillow to blow his nose. He’d have to Shout that out, for sure... "So, now you know that Yukina is allergic to seafood, too," he supplied. "Catalogue that for future reference."

"What am I going to do...? Every time I try to do something nice for Yukina, it backfires...! I’ll never win her this way – not if everything I do for her ends up hurting her!"

"Hey, whoa." Kurama held up his hands. "Don’t be so hard on yourself. All’s not lost, yet."

"I’m such a loser... I’ll never get this right... I suck at courtship..."

"Well, nobody’s perfect," Kurama offered. "Except for me, that is," he added off-handedly, glancing at his reflection in the mirror atop his dresser. "God, I’m gorgeous..."

"Kurama..."

"Right. Sorry." Kurama turned back to his despairing friend and sighed. "Look, I’ll be right back, okay?"

"Where are you going?"

"I... have to pick up something before the stores close. Just wait here, I promise I’ll be back soon." It wasn’t exactly a lie. He planned on stopping at the store and picking up some drier sheets on the way back from Yukina’s.

"Fine."

Kurama smiled and grabbed his car keys on his way out the door. He hadn’t counted on having to intervene; Hiei had been clueless, but Kuwabara he’d thought to be much more capable...Clearly, Kurama had miscalculated, but then... he shouldn’t have expected the courtship to flow flawlessly.

After all, not all men could be Youko Kurama.

He had to wait a few minutes before the door to Yukina and Shizuru’s apartment opened – though he suspected that was because Shizuru had peeked through the peephole and knew it was him. She could be so petty sometimes...

The door opened a considerable amount of time later, and Kurama was greeted by one of Shizuru’s flat stares.

"Hello, Shizuru."

"Kurama."

The seconds ticked by. Kurama waited patiently, but not for very long. "May I help you, my dear?" he asked politely.

Shizuru shook her head. "So you think you can just show up out of the blue like this?"

"Sorry?"

"Not one phone call, Kurama. Not one. How many weeks has it been?" She turned her nose up. "And you think you can just waltz in and expect me to give you another chance?"

"Actually," Kurama explained dryly, "I’m here to see Yukina."

Shizuru looked dumbfounded for a moment, but quickly regained her composure. "...All right, Kurama. If that's how you want to play it..." She stepped aside and he let himself in. "Don't think that I don't know what you're doing," she went on. "If you think jealousy will get me to run back to you--"

"Your brother wants Yukina, remember?" Kurama pointed out. "I'm

just here to talk to her, that's all." Honestly, women sometimes...

"I'm watching you, youko."

And she did -- like a hawk. He felt her eyes on him as he strode across the apartment and knocked on Yukina's door.

"Come in," came the ice demon's soft voice.

Kurama opened the door and greeted her with a smile. She was sitting at her desk reading a novel. "How are you feeling?"

"Better," she replied. "Much better."

"You weren't too ill, I hope?" From what he'd heard from Kuwabara... But then, he was exaggerating... I think.

"No." She shook her head. "But... I think I'll stay away from squid from now on..."

"Good idea." He paused before going on. "How did Kuwabara take it?"

Yukina closed her book. "Is that why you're here?"

She really was a clever girl; Kurama wondered how exactly Hiei managed to hide their relation from her for as long as he did. "You got it."

"Is..." Yukina nibbled her lip, "...is he angry?"

Angry? Kurama choked, but managed to swallow it with a cough. "Why do you think he’s angry?"

Yukina blinked, turning and standing up. "Well... each time he tries to do something nice for me, something happens and everything goes wrong."

This was going to go much more smoothly than he’d initially thought. "So, you’re not angry with Kuwabara?"

"Me?" She blinked her pretty red eyes again. "Why would I be angry with him? He’s always so nice to me, and he was trying so hard to make sure I had a good time..."

"But the movie...?"

The ice demon cocked her head. "What about it?"

Kurama folded his arms and leaned back against the wall. "He said that you got really scared, and wouldn’t let go of his arm. He felt really bad about it."

Yukina frowned. "But... wasn’t I supposed to get scared and hold onto him...? I mean," she shrugged, "that’s how it usually works on television shows and the like, right? The girl will get scared, and then the boy will comfort her and make her feel safe? Isn’t that how it works?"

For a minute, Kurama just stared at the confused ice demon, wondering whether he should laugh or not. In the end, he settled for a wide smile. "You mean you were trying to encourage Kuwabara by being afraid?" When she nodded, he felt his smile widen. This was definitely going smoother than he’d planned. "So you weren’t angry with him for taking you to see it?"

"Of course not – I thought he was angry with me."

"Why would you think that?" Kurama doubted that Kuwabara could ever lose his temper with Yukina…

"Because he didn’t call me for a long time after that."

Kurama blinked. "But he did. He told me he tried to phone you, but you wouldn’t return the calls."

"There must be some kind of misunderstanding--"

"Never mind," Kurama interjected, raising a hand to silence her. "I think I’ve already figured it out." Oh, Shizuru... your idea of "helping" wasn’t needed this time...

"Figured what out?"

"Don’t worry about it. It’s just another Woman Thing I’ve observed." Shizuru always did have an unusual way of encouraging Kuwabara...

"So... Kazuma isn’t angry with me?" she asked.

"Quite the contrary, my dear. Quite the contrary." Kurama grinned. "In fact, he’s at my place right now, wallowing in his own self-pity, thinking that he’s lost any chance he ever had with you."

For a few moments, Yukina said nothing. But soon, her features faltered, and she started to giggle. The giggling soon became chuckling, and then she laughed out loud. "Oh...! How did this get complicated...?"

Kurama grinned sheepishly. "Well... he’s been at this for years..."

"He thinks he doesn’t have a chance with me, anymore...? Oh... oh... poor Kazuma...! Oh... it’s just that I thought... oh..."

He continued to watch her laugh, and he kept smiling. It was funny how two people could care for each other so much... and dance around each other for so long without doing anything about it. Love was so strange...

"Kurama?"

"Yes?"

Yukina composed herself and gave him a pleading look. "Thank you for coming here to talk to me on Kazuma’s behalf. It means a lot to me."

Kurama shrugged. "Don’t mention it. That’s what friends are for."

"True... but I have a request, if you wouldn’t mind...?"

"Name it."

"Well... since Kazuma is at your place, would you... deliver a message to him for me...?"

Thankfully, Kurama returned to his apartment before Kuwabara’s mucus managed to ooze onto his sheets. Unfortunately, his pillowcase wasn’t so lucky. Kurama winced and silently promised it a nice, long spin in the washer when Kuwabara left.

"Kuwabara?"

His friend moaned and rolled over. "Yeah?"

"I went to Yukina’s," he pronounced, watching his friend’s reaction. The man looked a little uncertain. "And she says..." he grinned widely when Kuwabara’s face fell, "...that she’s not angry with you."

Kuwabara didn’t reply at first. "You’re not serious."

"Au contraire, my friend," he said. "I’m quite serious." He chuckled. "You know, the problem with you two is that you’re each so afraid of unintentionally offending the other, or doing something wrong. That’s why you’ve spent so much time beating around the bush." Kurama nodded resolutely. If only all relationships were so easy to fix...

Kuwabara’s mouth worked. "So... this means... what, exactly? I still have a chance?"

"You have a big chance," Kurama corrected. "As a matter of fact, Yukina has invited you over tomorrow afternoon, at two o’clock."

"...She did?"

"She did. So, why not pick something for the two of you to do, and take her out, or something?"

Kuwabara fisted the legs of his pants. "I... I..."

"You what?"

"...I have to find something to wear!" his friend cried, bouncing off the bed and bounding out of Kurama’s apartment. "Thanks, Kurama!" he called on his way out. "I love you, man!" He paused with his hand on the doorknob. "Uh... in a platonic kind of way, you know?"

"Mm-hm." Kurama waved the man away. "Go on, get."

Kuwabara gave him a two-fingered salute and shut the door behind him. Kurama turned and immediately started pulling the sheets from his bed. There was no way he was going to spend the night sleeping in Kuwabara’s mucus…

Kuwabara scuffed his feet in front of Yukina’s door, holding the pamphlet from the art museum he was going to suggest they check out. He raised his hand to knock, but before his knuckles could touch the wood, the door opened.

Yukina gave him a bright smile. "Hello, Kazuma."

He swallowed. "Um... hello, Yukina."

They spent a few minutes just standing still. The silence soon became too much.

"Uh..." Kuwabara held up the pamphlet. "I brought this for you to see. You know, just an idea... unless you’d rather do something different..."

Yukina shrugged one shoulder. "You know... I was wondering... why don’t we do something different?"

"Sure." He nodded. He definitely wouldn’t mind taking one of her suggestions.

"Come inside?" she beckoned, stepping aside to let him through.

He obliged, and she shut the door before leading him to the living room. He noticed that Shizuru was indeed at work, and exhaled quietly in relief. He didn’t feel like making an idiot out of himself in front of his sister...

He blinked when Yukina flopped down on the couch and put her feet up on the coffee table, and blinked again when she patted the space beside her. She raised an eyebrow when he didn’t move.

"Coming?"

He nodded and sat down where she directed. He felt blood rushing to his cheeks when he realized how close to her he was. He remained very still as she picked up the remote and started channel-flipping. When she found a comedy movie, she put the remote down and smiled at him.

"This is nice, isn’t it?"

He relaxed, leaning back against the couch like she was. "Yeah," he agreed.

"Isn’t this better than trying to impress me by taking me out to fancy restaurants or movies?" she asked with a gleam in her eye, and put her hand on the cushion between them, palm-up.

He smiled back and reached out, hovering his hand over hers. When she nodded her permission, he put his hand on hers, and then they twined their fingers together. "Yes," he stated happily. "Yes, it is."

~End.

Author’s Notes:
I went through something like Yukina once. No, I’m not allergic to bee stings, but I did have surgery, then an on-the-job injury, and then caught the common cold. That’s a triple-whammy, folks.
Kuwabara drives like just about everyone in Montreal does. Except me, of course ^_~ I drive fast, but not like a dickhead.
Whenever Ria catches a cold, she always has trouble pronouncing words that begin with "h" and sounds like she’s saying "d" instead of "n" ^_^
No, I’m not going to explain the intentions behind Shizuru’s intervention. I considered it, but it really is more of a Sister Thing that may be a mite difficult to explain – so I won’t even attempt it ^^;;;