On a Starless Night
by Crystal aka Firestarter

Yuu Yuu Hakusho and its characters are the property of Yoshihiro Togashi, Studio Pierrot, Shueisha, Fuji TV, and Shonen Jump Weekly though all content not copyrighted to others is © 2000 to Crystal. Warning: Shounen Ai, Angst Foreword: a sequel to 'tears and the rain' and 'over the rainbow'. ^_^

Women. They were everywhere in my small apartment, loud music blaring out of the speakers, as the rowdy crowd that consisted of my friends and acquaintaces danced on the floor that was supposed to be my living room. It was stuffy in here despite the raging storm outside, the coldness of the outdoors not affecting the inside of my apartment in any way. Is this supposed to be the celebration of my last night of being single? That I spend time here though I am not even enjoying it? I knew from the second that I uttered those words in my mind that I had to get out of here. I guess... I just needed some time alone...

I walked towards the front door, retrieving the thick coat that I wore when it was raining as hard as tonight. I just need to think for a while or perhaps just forget everything else. Tonight, I am still free. Tonight, I could still do whatever I please.

I trekked the streets of my neighborhood in silence though in my face was a smile. I was an adult now, the memories of childhood playing on my head as I saw some familiar places all around. Things used to be so simple, though I was a son of a young mother and life wasn't really as peachy as Kuwabara's and Kurama's. But through all the bad times, I appreciate everything that I had been and I had become. And I owe all that I am now to my mother, my bestfriend and would be wife as well as the new friends and family that I've met through the years. I guess I'm still lucky in a way.

The street lamps glowed dimly as it was blurred by the big fat raindrops that fell in all sorts of ways, be it downward, horizontal or sideways. It didn't look safe out here but oddly, I'd rather be here than inside my apartment at this very moment. I knew it was weird as I didn't even have a reason but when I saw the familiar black cloak of one of my closest friends, I finally understood what brought me out here. It was Hiei...

Rushing towards my drenched friend, I held him by the shoulders, looking him in the eye as I worried about his health and such and why he hadn't come to my party. He was freezing, his skin even paler than before and his ki unbelievably low. His eyes looked at mine and for one moment, we both couldn't say anything to each other. Oddly, he just smiled at me.

I asked if he was alright but he just nodded his head in affirmation though it was clear that he was not. Confused at his state as I saw that his eyes were sore and that maybe, he had been crying, I touched his forehead for any indication of sickness or whatever but found nothing at all. I just knew that he was weak. From that moment on, I finally understood that no one is invincible, not even Hiei and immediately, I pulled him to the nearest shelter. Finding Kuwabara's home as the closest, I led him inside and brought him to the closest bathroom. Seeing that he was in danger of hypothermia, I helped him get rid of his soaked clothes immediately, a clinical expression on my face. He needed help and I was here...

I tried to ignore his intense eyes on me as I tried to do my task as quickly as possible though I knew that my face was very red at that very moment. I curse my inability at control even though I am not considered a child anymore. The moment that Hiei stood bare in front of me, I immediately pulled him towards the nearest bedroom, wrapping him in warm blankets so as to increase his temperature. His eyes never left me. What could he be thinking now? He hasn't spoken anything yet so I asked him...

I asked him how he was, why he was there under the rain, why he let himself be drenched just like that, why he didn't go to my party and why his eyes looked really sore. He didn't answer but I knew the reason the moment those questions left my mouth. It all summed up to one thing. He loved me. Perhaps...

So, I stared at him for a long time as he did the same, brown and red irises meeting in mid air, both of our souls exposed to each other at that very moment. And I saw, his love burning strongly and painfully. I was overwhelmed.

He started to shiver so I came close to him to check him up and found that the sheets around him wasn't helping at all, his eyes dilating with hypothermia even if I had already done all I could to prevent it from happening. His eyes closed and I feared the worst, immediately doing what I can to help him through this one starless night. How long had he been under the rain?

I discarded my own clothes as fast as I could, immediately and without hesitation crawling under the sheets to meet his body. Laying down beside him, I placed an arm above his torso, giving the care that was supposed to counter his love for me. I knew it was not enough for me to just care but as he opened his eyes and looked at me once again, I saw that he understood my situation completely and he wasn't demanding anything. I embraced him tighter.

Just for tonight, Hiei. You can pretend just for tonight while the stars can't witness and the storm is still raging and I am still free. You can still pretend even though it hurts. I'm sorry.

When you closed your eyes, you embraced me with your freezing arms, tears escaping your eyes. I know you think you are lucky now that at least you get to be with me this one time, but please... don't be. You deserve so much more.

You opened your small mouth to say some things I thought you would never tell me. You said congratulations on my wedding tomorrow. You said your thanks on my efforts for tonight. You said that you wish for me to live a happy life with Keiko. You said you'd help in any way you can and that I should just call on you whenever I needed your help. You told me that you were lucky to be my friend. You said that one day when my life in the Ningenkai will be over, you'd be waiting in the borders of Makai.

And lastly...

You told me that you loved me.

I embraced you as tight as I could.

I'm sorry, Hiei.

© August 9, 2000

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