Trying New Things
by Mina Lightstar

	Disclaimer: Sue me. Please? I’ve been trying to get rid of these college textbooks for months… Feedback: Hai! Flame me if you want--if your letter is entertaining, I’ll even post it on my fridge.
Notes: This fic was inspired a couple of days ago, after Kujakku Amano and I went to dinner together and had some…interesting…new foods ^^; There are NO pairings in this fic--so if you’re into shounen-ai or het, you may be a tad disappointed ^_^;;; This ficcie is also kinda dedicated to Kujakku, because for once she actually let ME pay for half of the dinner bill! ^_^

"You try it."

"Oh, no, you try it."

"I don’t think so. You try it."

"Not a chance. You try it."

"No way. Look at it--all dark and wrinkly and squishy… You try it first."

"Nuh-uh. If anyone is getting food poisoning, it should be you. I’m too important."

"Please. As the leader, you should try everything first, to make sure it’s safe for us."

"No, stupid leaders do that. You try it."

"You try it."

"You’re both wimps. I’ll try it."

Hiei reached over the table and seized the horrible-looking black thing that bore a resemblance to a kind of fruit roll. After staring at it for several moments, he broke a tiny piece off and nibbled it cautiously.

Yusuke, Kuwabara, and Kurama leaned forward--staring as though they were half-expecting Hiei to drop dead in front of them at any moment.

Hiei looked thoughtful. "It tastes like…"

"Liiiiiiiiiike…" Yusuke prodded.

"…Nothing," Hiei finished with a little frown.

Everyone fell out of their chairs.

"What do you mean ‘nothing’?" Yusuke snapped.

"Just what I said," Hiei shot back, aiming a glare in the boy’s direction. "It doesn’t have a taste!"

"So it’s safe…?" Kuwabara ventured, still eyeing the strange piece of food. He hesitantly reached out a finger and poked it, watching it wiggle. "Yech…"

"But then what about that one?" Yusuke spoke up, pointing to another…"food" on the plate, this one looking rather like a donut covered with coconut shavings. [1]

Hiei eyed it warily. "It’s awfully…white."

"Brilliant observation, Doctor."

"Shut up."

"Don’t want to try it?" Kurama asked him.

"No way. I tried the last one."

"Not so manly now, are you, midget?" Kuwabara sneered.

"I’m not a man," Hiei clarified. "I’m a male demon." Then he shot Kuwabara a look. "Why don’t you try it?"

"Because…" He looked uncertain. "Because…"

"What’s wrong, human? Not ‘manly’ enough?"

Kuwabara speared Hiei with a glare. "Fine. Clearly I’m the only man here."

"You are," Hiei agreed as Kuwabara reached for the strange white ball, "Kurama’s a gentleman, I’m a male demon, and Yusuke’s a delinquent." He finished with a smug grin and promptly ducked the bun hurled in his direction.

Kuwabara tried breaking the donut/rice ball hybrid in half. The raw dough-like substance fought the division, expanding like elastic. When it broke apart, they could see a purplish filling.

"Well," Kurama pronounced, "that looks appetizing…"

"Go ahead, Kuwa," Yusuke snickered. "Eat it."

"Shut up. I am." Kuwabara frowned at it for several moments before he took a generous bite.

"Well?" the other three asked, leaning forward.

Kuwabara made a small face. "It’s…sweet, but…strange…"

Hiei scowled. "Well, that’s no fun." He moved his rice around on his plate with his fork. "I was hoping you’d make some sort of scene."

"Sorry to disappoint you."

"What about this?" Kurama asked, poking a bun with his knife.

"It looks like bread," Hiei observed, blinking his red eyes at it.

"Two astounding examinations in one evening," Yusuke uttered in mock awe. "Slow down and wait for us, will you?"

"Shut up."

"But it does look like bread," Kurama added, staring at the bun.

"Don’t trust it," Yusuke warned. "We’re in a Chinese buffet--you never know what they hide in their food."

"What do you think is in it?" Kuwabara wondered.

"Want to find out?" Kurama offered, holding the bun out to him.

"No way, Red," Kuwabara sneered. "I took my turn."

"Yusuke?"

"As if."

"Hiei?"

"Hn."

A quick leaf through his mental Hiei-Japanese dictionary assured him that it was a "Don’t even think about it" as opposed to a "Fine, I’ll try it if you’re too scared to" and Kurama brought the bun to his lips, taking a little bite.

"It’s just a bun," he declared, relieved he’d gotten off easy. He took a bigger bite, and was immediately aware of the mushy, gooey substance that tasted like rancid meat. "Ack!" he cried in disgust, and spat out the revolting filling into his napkin.

He glared at Kuwabara and Yusuke, who were sniggering, and flicked a forkful of rice at Hiei, who was sprawled on the tablecloth next to his plate, shoulders shaking with laughter. "It’s not funny!"

Hiei shook the grains of rice out of his hair and glowered at the youko. "Watch it, kitsune," he growled warningly, and gathered a forkful of his own rice, flicking it at Kurama.

The redhead ducked the food, evading all but a few grains, which tangled in his silken tresses. "My hair!" he cried. "Hiei, you--" He cut off with a snarl and seized one of the coconut balls, hurling it at the Jaganshi. He deflected the flying donut, and Kurama choked as it hit Yusuke in the nose.

"Hey!!" the Spirit Detective cried. "What’d I do?" he demanded, grabbing one of the buns and aiming for Hiei.

"Don’t throw it at me," Hiei snapped. "Kurama started it."

Yusuke threw it anyway. Hiei tried to dodge to the side, forgetting he was at a table and significantly closer to his teammates than he would have normally liked. He stopped short to avoid leaping into Kuwabara, knocking one of the table legs with his foot. The table jerked, and the bottle of Soya Sauce to tip over. Some of the liquid spilled over the edge of the table into Kuwabara’s lap.

"Hey! Watch what you’re doing!"

"Well, maybe if you weren’t so big, you wouldn’t take up so much room!"

"Klutz!"

"Ox!"

"Weenie!"

"Idiot!"

"Midget!"

"Moron!"

"Jerk!"

"Asshole!"

"Bastard!"

"Human!"

"Shrimp!"

Both yelped in surprise as they were pelted with chicken balls. Kurama folded his arms in annoyance. "Stop it. You’re making a scene."

Hiei growled low in his throat and grabbed his spoon, scooping up the spare rib sauce on his plate and catapulting it at the youko. Kurama gasped as his white dress shirt was stained with rib sauce.

"My shirt! Shiori is going to kill me!" He dove across the table to retrieve the overturned bottle of Soya sauce, lifting it threateningly and leering at Hiei. "Jaganshi, now you’ve gone too far."

"Hmph. It’s not my fault you’re stupid enough to wear a white shirt out to dinner, moron," Hiei shot back, and then ducked under the table as Kurama splashed the Soya sauce at him.

"Oi!" Kuwabara roared, wiping his face and blinking at the stain on his shirt. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Kurama cleared his throat and looked sheepish. "Uh…sorry, Kuwabara… I…I meant to hit Hiei, not you…"

Kuwabara eyed him menacingly. "Well, you missed."

"I’m sorr--ah!" Kurama abandoned the apology halfway through to swat a spare rib away, and winced as it struck poor Yusuke.

"That’s it!" Yusuke growled. "I’m sick of being pelted with your food! You’re supposed to eat it, not throw it around!" The Spirit World detective seized three of his frog legs and whipped them at his three companions. "Take that!"

"Don’t mess with me, Urameshi!" Hiei snarled, hefting one of his egg rolls.

"What’s the big idea?" Kuwabara growled. "They started it!" he added, jerking his thumb at Hiei and Kurama.

"Me?" Kurama cried, lifting a dough roll. "I’ll show you!" he growled, hurling it at Yusuke in retaliation.

Yusuke ducked it, but lifted his head in time to get an egg roll in the cheek. He glared at Hiei. "You do know, Jaganshi, that this means war, right?"

And that was all the warning Hiei got before a handful of rice hit him from the left. He hissed at Kuwabara and retaliated with another egg roll. "I said, don’t mess with me!"

"War!" Kuwabara roared, batting the egg roll away. "I declare war! And I take no prisoners!" He punctuated his words with a flurry of rice followed by the egg rolls on his plate. "Take that, little men!"

"All right, that’s it!" Kurama shouted. "Now I’m angry!" He stood up from the table and shot his slices of pizza at the other boys. [2]

Hiei yelped as the pizza struck him in the face and wiped the grease before it could get near his eyes. Before he could counterattack, he was struck from all sides by the flood of food that was flying around the table from the others.

"You’re all dead!" he shouted, and then dove under the table.

"Coward!" Kuwabara taunted as he simultaneously attacked and defended. "Running away from a fight!"

"You’re just jealous because you aren’t short enough to fit under a table!" Hiei retorted. And then, the table was rocked with movement, the glasses of water and tea spilled over, as did other various condiments, all over them.

"Hiei!" Yusuke hollered, his pants now drenched.

Kuwabara screeched in horror at his damp lap. "You little--!"

Kurama seized the soy sauce and ducked under the table with a "Now I’ve got you!" There were sounds of a struggle, Yusuke and Kuwabara stood from their chairs as the table shook and rattled, the tablecloth serving as a curtain, hiding whatever was going on down there from them, though it did involve Kurama shrieking things like "Got you this time!" and Hiei cursing colorfully enough to make Yusuke blush.

When the Jaganshi rolled out from underneath the table, his clothes were dripping soy sauce and he looked furious. Kurama emerged a second later with a victorious smirk…until Hiei turned and attacked him with a fork.

The two demons wrestled for control of the utensil, and Yusuke cried out as another greasy egg roll stained his shirt. "Bastard!" he shouted at Kuwabara, and reached for his own arsenal, this time hefting the plate itself and hurling it at the other boy. Kuwabara dodged, and Yusuke winced as the plate crashed into the wall and shattered to pieces. But his sorrow for the plate didn’t last long, for soon Kuwabara tackled him, and tried to stuff rice down his pants.

"Asshole!" Yusuke hollered. "Stop it!" His fist connected with the other boy’s jaw, and soon they were rolling around on the floor, wrestling like they were back in elementary school. And when they knocked into the struggling Hiei and Kurama, it initiated a full-blown dog-pile.

"Wait! Wait!"

Yusuke frowned in his struggle, trying to figure out who was speaking.

"Wait!"

Kurama. Kurama was shouting at them to wait.

"Don’t you remember where we are?!" the redhead cried.

All four of them halted in mid-battle. Hiei’s fist was poised to punch Kuwabara, while the aforementioned teen’s hands were nearly wringing Yusuke’s neck. Yusuke swallowed and looked around them.

Their table was a disaster--looking much like ground zero of a nuclear explosion. Yusuke spared a glance at himself and his friends, and saw that they weren’t much better. But when he lifted his gaze and saw the audience they had, he flushed crimson. The entire clientele and employees of the restaurant had gathered.

"Guys," Yusuke whispered, "I think…we’re in trouble…"

His answer came in a mixture of sighs, moans, and snorts.

~*~

"I just want to make something very clear," Hiei grumbled. "I don’t like any of you." He punctuated the statement by nearly slamming the plate he’d just dried onto the stack.

"Shut up, you undersized…" Kuwabara let the insult trail off, not bothering to think up some clever name. "You’re the one who started it," he added, seizing the stack of plates and beginning to put them on the trolley to be brought back out to the buffet.

"I started nothing, you moron. This is all Kurama’s fault."

"Mine?" the redhead cried, furiously scrubbing a bowl. "Don’t try to blame this on me. I did nothing wrong."

"Yeah, right," Yusuke muttered, making sure his plate was clean before handing it to Hiei. "I’m so sure."

"Kurama should be doing this alone," Hiei spat, snatching the plate from Yusuke.

"Shove it, Hiei."

"Don’t start, you two," Yusuke warned.

"Don’t tell us what to do," Hiei shot back.

"Don’t get snappy, shrimp," Kuwabara growled.

"Don’t mess with me, you big ox."

"What did you call me?"

"You heard me!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

Hiei and Kuwabara cried out as they were splashed with hot, soapy water. Yusuke and Kurama glared at them.

"Knock it off," Kurama scolded. "If we have to hose you two down every five minutes, we’ll never get anything done." With that, he turned and started washing again.

Hiei glared and rolled up his dishtowel. He whipped it once, slapping Kurama hard on the rear.

"OW!" the youko cried, clutching his sore bottom and spinning around to face the Jaganshi. "Oh, you rotten little--" He grabbed his wet rag, "--bastard!" He finished the sentence by whipping his soapy rag at Hiei.

"Ack!" Hiei stumbled back and hit Kuwabara, who in turn knocked his stack of plates, causing the dishes to waver slightly.

"Careful, shrimp!" the teen growled threateningly, and pushed Hiei forward into Kurama.

Kurama snarled and shoved Hiei back, and the Jaganshi fell back into Kuwabara. But as he felt Kuwabara’s hands close on his shoulders, he elbowed the human in the ribs. "Stop that! I’m not a goddamn ball!"

"You’re small enough," Kuwabara snickered.

"Do you want to die?"

"I’d like to see you try, you--"

Yusuke sighed as the two launched themselves into another argument, and turned back to wash dishes with Kurama. "When we get out of here, you feel like going for ice cream?"

"Sure," Kurama agreed, and rolled his eyes as the insults escalated in offense. "But they’re not invited."

Owari

[1] Ano…a Chinese donut…not a Western one… ^_^ [back]
[2] Chinese buffets always seem to have a good supply of pizza handy ^_^ [back]

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