6 July, 1994 (that year doesn't seem possible, does it?)
A small Polynesian island
Dear Harry,
Goodness. It feels so strange to be able to write that. "Dear Harry". Just as though I were a regular person writing to his godson, quill and parchment in hand. Not that this is quite parchment and a mynah feather is a bit smaller than a regular plume, but they both work well enough for the purpose. I can write more or less freely, out in the sun, that's the amazing thing to me.
Thank you for your kind thoughts about Buckbeak. He is a truly noble beast and a true friend. I suppose all those years spent as an animal half the time and rarely speaking to people makes it easier to communicate with magical creatures than with other humans. He seems to like it here, and the mynah bird talks to him a lot. I groom Buckbeak as best as I can to keep his feathers clean and in order, and check his claws and hooves to make sure they're trimmed and not cracking or splitting. I know how sore my paws get from walking everywhere and I don't want his feet hurting. He also needs to be in good health in case we need to leave precipitously. (I remembered that word. I had to think a bit, then remembered it from the Prophet crossword. Do you like crossword puzzles?)
I think Peter is someone who's always going to keep his eye out for the best chance to run and hide. You shouldn't blame yourself for anything. I'm the one who knew what the little... rat is like (language, Sirius!), and I didn't think to pin him down when I had the chance. I know you didn't want us to kill him. I think you're much nobler than I could be in your place. James was very fond of Peter and adopted him a bit like a younger brother. I suppose I shouldn't be surprised that a little brother could turn on him the way he did. Really, I should have seen it earlier. James never thought Peter could hurt him, never. I wouldn't have thought so either, but clearly I was too naive. I mean, why would anyone want to hurt James? He was so bold and strong and good. I wish you had known him.
I'm glad you liked the broom and the permission slip. Someone who's as terrific a flyer as you are deserves the best possible broom! I can barely remember how to balance myself on a racing broom these days, so it wouldn't do me much good anyway. You have such beautiful form in the air; when you fly, you have a look of such... rapture, as though you barely need to have a broom to take flight, that you could sprout your own wings and lift yourself above the pitch, above the world. And then you see the Snitch and your whole body tenses and leans forward and WHAM! it looks like nothing else exists for you except Getting That Snitch. I couldn't believe it when you fell. My heart almost stopped, because it was impossible that you could fall, you were more powerful than gravity, just like James. And...well. I'm glad nothing serious happened. You earned yourself a new broom after a tumble like that!
It was easy enough to see you needed a permission slip. I was up before dawn on the first Hogsmeade weekend, waiting for you. No one notices a shaggy black mutt rootling in the dustbins behind the Three Broomsticks. Madam Rosmerta threw the dishwater out the window, practically on top of me, and didn't notice a thing. Oh, my fur was damp and cold so early in the morning! I gave myself a good shake and then cringed, afraid Rosmerta would see me and raise a fuss because I was getting dirty water all over the place, but I suppose it doesn't matter much in an alleyway. Harry, it's horrible when your fur is wet and soaking into your skin first thing in the morning. Prongs used to raise a terrible fuss if someone "accidentally" splashed into a puddle and soaked him, so he hated it just as much as I do. Who knows, maybe you'll find out for yourself one day!
So I waited and waited, sniffed around the sweetshop and got some free samples from the kids by looking cute and pathetic and genuinely hungry, and couldn't see or smell you anywhere! Eventually I heard two children of about the right age complaining vociferously (there! I remembered that word too!) about how horribly unfair it was that Harry couldn't go with the rest of the class. I trailed along for a bit and gathered that "Harry" was you — you had quite a number of friends who were just as angry on your behalf as Ron and Hermione were. There were a pair of ginger-haired boys who were particularly indignant that you were deprived of the chance to visit Zonko's, and I agree with them. I very much wanted to run to Professor McGonagall and say "I stand in loco parentis to Harry Potter, and I say he can go to Hogsmeade if he likes!" but of course I couldn't at the time. At least I can help you for next year. If I'd known, I would have given a proper growl at your uncle! Imagine not letting you go for a perfectly innocent excursion with your friends. That still makes me angry.
I'm glad that owl is such a hit with Ron. That little bird is, pardon the pun, a bit flighty (hah! I can still tell a joke! Take THAT, you jailers!), but he genuinely means well. I think he was pushed about a bit in the nest when he was very young and suffered from being at the bottom of the pecking order, so to speak. In any case, I'm glad Ron likes him, and I hope he'll be rather a better pet than old "Scabbers" was. Speaking of which, surely Scabbers was old and sickly enough to have passed away from natural causes? I wouldn't call it a lie, since Peter supposedly died a long time ago, and why should his alter ego have a greater lifespan? No one expects a rat to live much past thirteen, in any case.
I should hope that your aunt and uncle are treating you properly. Even if I can't appear in propria persona, surely it wouldn't be too much for a stray dog to growl at them from time to time? It would be such a lark, and I'd love to see you! I doubt it can be managed this summer, but it's something I'd like to keep in mind. At least they can't deny you a little time with your friends next year at Hogsmeade, that's one consolation.
But Harry--please know that I will never, ever scare YOU on purpose. You're my family, the only family I have left to me now, and I know I haven't been the best of godfathers to you so far, but I solemnly swear that I'm up to good as far as you're concerned. I'll do my best by you, the best I can. I only hope it's good enough.
Sincerely,
your affectionate godfather,
| Sirius |
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written by Teka Lynn
First drafted November 10, 2003, revised August 1, 2004.
All rights to the characters and setting are held by J K Rowling and whoever else holds them, including, but not limited to, Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books, and Warner Bros. This fanwork was created solely for fun and has no legal or financial connection to the Harry Potter novels.